Your first day at MIA
Everything you’ll need, and want for your first day ass a brand new student of MIA!
Dress Code
Considering it's your first day, first impressions are everything, meaning you need to come dressed to impressed.
Just kidding. Most kids, including myself come dressed in sweats and a sweat shirt. However, if you’re the fancy type, our school is relatively relaxed on the dress code.
Think: no bbs (no boobs, butt, stomach), and to be frank our school is far too cold for any of that anyways. If you’re feeling lucky, bring a blanket! Just try to leave it elsewhere when going to Koch’s, Galiana’s, Higuera’s, Howard’s, Cobos’s.
Another good reminder is to have something over your shoulders, depending on the thickness of your straps. (Silly and pointless, seriously I know.)
Mentoring
Assuming your previous school had some form of home room, or free period, mentoring is the equivalent of this.
Depending on your mentoring teacher, you may have to participate in a simple five-ish minute activity, however you’re typically free todo whatever in the mean time. Most people use this free time to prepare for tests or upcoming quizzes, and if you inform your teacher they will leave you be.
Teachers
Due to our small size, the teachers are far more hands on, most have no problem with after or before school help. Typically, if you treat each teacher with a level of mutual respect, they will be more than willing to help accommodate you.
Sometimes, adults can too act like children, so if you’re ever having a serious problem with one of your teachers, consider going to Mrs. Scott, she is very understanding and will help you come to an fair agreement for the BOTH of you.
Lunch
Depending on your tolerance level for the heat, and other people, you have two options for lunch.
This first option is the official lunch area, which is on the roof, closest to the snack shack, however I prefer the ladder.
The second option is the student lounge, which takes place inside on the second floor, and while you will need to get permission from Mrs. Scott to sit there, she allows just about anyone. The lounge is perfect for the more solitary person, and you may find this is the perfect place to catch up on classwork, before heading to your second half of the day.
I tried to complete my leaflet in proper form, I did this by providing several headings and subheadings throughout the writing. However, I could’ve changed my sentence structure to something more short and statement like. This is because my audience would likely not be interested for long, so I needed to make shorter conclusive statements, whereas my sentences tended to become run on. According to the text “The lounge is perfect for the more solitary person, and you may find this is the perfect place to catch up on classwork, before heading to your second half of the day.” This was a common occurrence in my sentences, and with simple rewording the statement could be changed to fit the real purpose of my leaflet.
While I think my leaflet fulfilled it’s true purpose of providing inside advice and guidance, there is little to no transitions between paragraphs and subheadings, giving it a choppier feel. However I tried to order the subheadings in somewhat of chronological order, because the ‘student’ would be getting dressed first, then go to mentoring, meeting their teachers, and then going to lunch.
As for my lexile choices, I tried to use more slang terms, and establish a connection between the reader and myself, complaining about issues students my age would face, and using terminology they would speak or text with. According to the text “seriously I know”. Because of this I give myself nine out of fifteen marks.
Section A Question 1(a)
ReplyDeleteIn your writing, you wrote clearly but some sentences seemed to run on and could have been reworded to be more effective. Some parts were kind of dry and introductory rather than advice-giving. However, I really liked how you told the reader to “Think: no bbs..”
You made a few minor errors throughout your writing. Some of them I assumed were typos, such as “ass” in the beginning. However, midway through your writing, you said “ladder” instead of “later.” Although this did not impede communication, an examiner may think you don’t know what you are talking about.
You clearly organized your text under different subheadings which helped make it look clean, organized, and made it easier to read. Your thoughts were well thought out and definitely helped the reader relate to you more.
You achieved the task, yet were more advice-giving in some paragraphs compared to others. For example, in your paragraphs about mentoring and lunch, you seem to describe it more rather than giving tips on how to make coming to a new school easier or less stressful.
You definitely engaged your audience as you made your leaflet very conversation-like. For instance, you included side speech like “(Silly and pointless, seriously I know.)” This truly captures the readers’ attention, keeping them interested.
MARKS: 9/15
Section A Question 1(b)
When it comes to your form, you used subheadings which clearly help with organization. For structure, I thought it was really clever how you wrote in chronological order because that is the schedule that students would follow on a typical school day. Lastly, you spoke quite informally as the prompt relates to incoming students.
This ties to what I previously said about properly addressing and engaging the audience. By helping your readers feel like they are understood, they are more likely to pay attention and take your advice.
MARKS: 5/10
Hi Bella, I really like your blog.
ReplyDeleteAO2: For the AO2 score I gave you 9/15 marks. You had a few minor spelling errors but nonetheless I was still able to understand your writing. You had good form and you were completely on task. You had differing sentence lengths. Overall I think you did a good job at answering the prompt.
AO3: For the AO3 score I gave you 4/10 marks. I really feel that you could have gone more into depth on your analysis. Because of that your analysis felt very limited.
Hey Bella,
ReplyDeleteFor AO2 I would give you 8/10 points.
Your writing has a couple small spelling errors throughout your writing like “ladder” and “ass’. They aren’t major and don't disrupt the overall flow of your writing. Your leaflet is set up with a title, short introduction and then you go into different categories for each element that you talk about.
You engage the audience by making your leaflet seem like a casual conversation between students. You keep it casual by using “(Silly and pointless, seriously I know.)” The use of second person helps give the reader a sense that you were talking directly to them. Throughout your writing, you alter between short catchy phrases and longer sentences like “If you’re feeling lucky, bring a blanket! Just try to leave it elsewhere when going to Koch’s, Galiana’s, Higuera’s, Howard’s, Cobos’s.” Your writing flows really well and keeps the reader engaged the whole time.
A couple paragraphs throughout your writing seem to describe what the different elements of our school are rather than giving advice on how to navigate the first week of school.
But overall I think you did a great job.
AO3
For AO3 I would give you a 4/10.
Although you went into some analysis about the form of your leaflet, I feel like you could have written more on the analysis of the structure and language. Also more analysis is needed for your stylistic choices, More than a short paragraph about lexile choices is needed.